Feeling insignificant in the system

I'm probably writing this post out of frustration towards school and the entire education system in general, because the more I look around the real world, the feeling of detachment increases. Yes, I feel detached from school, homework, teachers, schoolmates and even my friends, to a certain extent. Each day that I walk towards that building, the only thing that goes on in my mind is - Wow, each step towards school is like each step away from my reality.

I know that most of my blog posts are full of hatred and sarcasm towards school. But now, I don't even feel those. Just detachment. Just a sense of alienation. I no longer know how to react towards people or teachers. I pity those students who think that bursting open their lungs infront of the entire class with maa-behen ki gaaliyaan makes them stronger or more 'gutsy', I pity those students whose balls increase by 10x when they're in a dominating group and decrease by 100x when they're alone, I pity those students who feel that clicking pics in City Select Walk every weekend and uploading them on Facebook makes them cooler and smarter, and I pity those teachers who even think that they're 'teachers'. In my opinion, they don't deserve the title.

I know for a fact that all these 'strong' students will piss in their pants if they're stuck without transport at night. Oh and mummy won't be there either, but that's okay, group kab kaam aayega? Sirf school mein bathroom jaane ke liye?

Infact, all of this is laughable. School is a different world altogether, aloof from reality or all the wordly problems. Only problem is, I don't connect with this world. Fake, is the word that comes to my mind whenever I enter those gates. Education, you say? No sir, it's all about marks now. There should be no confusion regarding this fact. There is no such thing as 'education' - it's an idealistic and unintentional joke that belongs in school newspapers and magazines. The word looks awesome on our website but that's pretty much about it.

Bottomline - 12th ka result kharab nahi hona chahiye. What will they publish in their magazine and newspaper otherwise? Talks about Gandhi and lessons on being good? Well, they're all useless fillers that need to be fed to the maganize to make it look thicker. The real deal is the results. I feel bad for people who take out time and write those articles. No one reads them, folks. Save your time and energy.

And so I've decided not to take part in anything related to 'writing' in school. I used to be enthusiastic about it a while back but now I've hit ground reality. It's an insult to my talent (whatever 0.1% that I do have) and I might end up losing my creative inspiration once I start writing for school. So nada from my side.

They talk about creativity, but it's ironic how they're exactly the ones who kill it. A child from KG would be more creative than a class 12th student. I remember how in class 10th, we had student mentor classes for children of classes 1 and 2. I've never hidden my dislike towards small children but I noticed something during my sessions with them - They all loved to scribble and draw in their art books. Sometimes they drew some real funny combinations in their books but what really mattered was the immense interest and zeal they drew with. Although their class teachers had advised us not to allow them to draw (read above point about school being the one killing creativity) and teach them instead, I never stopped them. It was endearing to see even 1% of real passion in a place like school.

All of us (and that includes me to a great extent too) cannot think beyond our accounts, business studies, maths and eco books. Our creativity and passion were murdered long ago, and funny thing is, we didn't even realize it. Only unfortunate students like me chose to acknowledge the murder and mourn over it. Others are pretty cool with the transition from a real brain to a robotic machine. Heck, I used to draw huts and lakes as a kid and now if I'm asked to draw a hut, the first thing I'll do is rummage through my pencil box for a goddamn scale.

I have nothing to say about the teahcers except of the fact that they lack passion. That says it all. Not just my school, in every school. My mother once told me how her english teacher's eyes lit up when she talked about literature. My english teacher has dead eyes, and that's why the class's interest is dead too. They're teachers because they couldn't do anything else in life, so they decided to fill that void in life by becoming a teacher - perhaps that'd decrease the burden of failure by a small margin.
In the end, I think this sentence sums up my thoughts - I'm detached now. It's like looking at another planet through a glass pane. You see it, but you don't feel anything.